


Edling AU Drabbles and Oneshots

by 50Lizardsinatrenchcoat



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Alternate Universe - Dystopia, Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Alternate Universe - Merpeople, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Pirate, Alternate Universe - Spies & Secret Agents, Alternate Universe - Time Travel, Alternate Universe - Vampire, Alternate Universe - Zombie Apocalypse, Angst, Baking, Couch Cuddles, Crack, Domestic Fluff, Espionage, Established Relationship, Fluff, Gun Violence, Hostage Situations, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Isolation, Joke Fic, Kidnapping, M/M, Meet-Cute, Mermaids, Merpeople, Minor Injuries, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pre-Slash, Sad Ending, Time Travel, Trust Issues, Zombie Apocalypse, it's minor tho
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-11
Updated: 2019-06-05
Packaged: 2019-07-29 08:00:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 2,716
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16260017
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/50Lizardsinatrenchcoat/pseuds/50Lizardsinatrenchcoat
Summary: The prompt list is taken from here: http://disastergayshirogane.tumblr.com/post/87725652992/30-day-otp-au-challengeVarious drabbles and Edling scenarios! Tags will be updated as chapters are posted. Enjoy!





	1. Table Of Contents

Prompt one- Coffee shop AU: Coffee Ship

Prompt two- Pirate AU: Shipping on a ship

Prompt three- Supernatural AU: Boyfriends and Baking

Prompt four- Dystopian AU: They can't all have clever names

Prompt five- Time Travel AU: the b3st fic to evar exist!!1!! (Joke fic)

Prompt six-  Apocalypse AU: Fate’s Resignation (Warning for character death)

Prompt seven- Secret Agent AU: Lima-Oscar-Victor-Echo

Prompt eight- Mermaid AU: Fire Forged, Water Forged (warning for implied/referenced child abuse)

Prompt nine- Miraculous Ladybug AU: Adventures In Obliviousness

Table of contents to be updated as stories are written and posted. Unless stated otherwise, all AUs have already been decided on.


	2. Coffee Ship

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Such a simple AU was far more difficult to write than it needed to be.

Ed was barely awake when he stumbled into the coffee shop closest to his studio apartment. The only person in the building beside him was a barista with long black hair tied back into a ponytail and a chipper smile.

“Hello! What can I get for you?” he asked. Ed knew exactly what he wanted before he walked in, but as soon as he took one look at the barista, his brain short-circuited. He did what any reasonable person would do to save face: stall for time.

“I thought Lan Fan had the graveyard shift,” he said. He wasn't entirely sure if what he said was comprehensible or slurred due to exhaustion and he was kicking himself internally for saying the first thing that popped into his head. Luckily, the barista took no offense and started laughing. 

“She had to sleep to be ready for finals, so we agreed to swap shifts. Name’s Ling Yao. You?”

He was in such a haze, it took him a full second to realize he was asked a question before responding. “Edward Elric.”

“Wild guess. Cramming for finals?” Ling asked, tilting his head to one side. Ed nodded absently. “I know just what you need.” 

He left and came back a moment later with a tall cup. “Probably enough caffeine in here to kill a small elephant. Don't say I didn't warn you.” Edward paid for his drink and left. 

He didn't notice until the following day what Ling had written on the cup. Right beneath Ed’s name was a phone number. 


	3. Shiping On a Ship

“I hate every part of this and everything that led up to it,” Edward grumbled, yanking at the ropes binding his arms to the chair. “Making out on the beach was an awful idea.”

“Yes, because we knew pirates were camped out near where we were vacationed and that we would get kidnapped,” Ling said. His voice was unusually quiet and laced with pain from the gunshot to his arm. After an uncomfortable pause, he said, “I'm really sorry for dragging you down there.”

“God, no, I didn't mean it like that,” Ed said, his voice softened. “I... just-”

“Just try and focus on escaping.” Ling tried not to let the emotion he was feeling seep into his voice. Emotions were a hindrance on high-stake problems. 

After about ten minutes, it was clear they were getting nowhere. The ropes on Ed’s chair were tied tight enough to cut off blood circulation and Ling escaping was clearly out of the equation due to his shot and hastily bandaged arm.

Ed slumped back in his chair. “What do you think will happen to us?” he asked forlornly, gazing at the ground. Ling shrugged.

“I'd say they think they're going to either sell us to the highest bidder or ransom us as political hostages if they actually realize who they caught. Neither will happen, of course. Lan Fan will murder them in the most brutal way possible before they can even get close.” Ed snorted, a smile creeping up onto his face.

“Yeah, and Winry’ll throw wrenches while Paninya distracts them.”

“You mess with us, you mess with our scarily competent friends,” Ling said. “Have you ever seen Mei when she's mad?” Ed shuddered.

“Like that one time someone made Al cry? I was going to wreck him but Mei beat me to it.” Just then, they heard a thumping sound coming from above deck. 

“And the cavalry has arrived! Die, bitches!” Paninya shouted.

“Speak of the devil,” Ed muttered, shaking his head fondly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Paninya is ready to wreck everyone's shit to save her favorite ship.


	4. Boyfriends and Baking

“Ed.” A pause... “Ed.” Another pause... “Ed.”

Edward Elric glanced up from the three books and several dozen papers sprawled haphazardly in front of him on the floor in an organizational system only he understood. His Psychic-Vampire boyfriend was sitting upside-down on the couch and poking him in the back. “Yes, Ling?”

“I'm so hungry that I might dieeeeeeeee,” he moaned. 

Ed rolled his eyes. He was well-acquainted with Ling’s theatrics. “Which kind, and can it wait five minutes?”

“Both kinds and I suppose I can set up the stuff for pancakes while you clean up.” Ed nodded and began to wrap up his research. He was only able to move a few papers around before Ling slid off the couch and onto the floor, accidentally kicking Ed in the shoulder in the process.

“I totally meant to do that!” He jumped to his feet and walked to the kitchen. Ed rolled his eyes again, but that time it was punctuated by a fond smile. Ling was a total dork, but he was his total dork. 

After Ed was done with stacking the papers in a way he'd easily be able to return to, he set off to the side and went to the kitchen. Ling was, just like last time, trying to add more sugar than was strictly necessary to the batter.

“And what exactly are you doing?” Ed crossed his arms and raised an eyebrow. He already knew how he was going to answer, but he asked anyway.

“Making the batter taste  _ great. _ ” He dumped the one cup measurement of sugar into the bowl and began to mix it fervently.

As it turns out, adding a lot of sugar to the pancakes and stirring it like mad gave you something a bit closer to cookies than pancakes. Crispy outside, chewy inside.

“These are not light or fluffy,” Ling said, poking at the stack sitting on the plate. 

“And why do you think that is?” Ed prompted him. Ling shrugged and popped one into his mouth.

“Who cares, they taste good!” 

Ling was right. They were pretty decent. Definitely not pancakes, but still decent. After actual food, Ling dragged Ed to the couch and draped himself over his lap and demand cuddles. After many months of previous trial and error, they had determined cuddles were the easiest way for Ling to feed on his love. Ling eventually fell asleep to Ed running his hands through his long black hair.


	5. I couldn't think of a clever title

On a scale of one to literally hell, current conditions were rapidly approaching hell. The last time Ed saw anyone he could describe as having a close relationship with was five weeks ago, one week longer than the estimated time the last of his friends should have shown up.

Ed escaped the city. It seemed the rest had not. He left a trail in code for them to find. Did they miss a clue and get lost? Were they detained by the police? He wasn't sure which one was worse at this point.

Ed’s shelter was well set up and he had dehydrated food to last for several more weeks, so there wasn't much for him to do except get caught up in his own mind.

A sound caught his attention. Leaves rustling. His hand drifted towards the pistol strapped to his ankle. He wasn't entirely sure how to use it, but he would try if it came to that.

Ling stumbled through the bushes. He looked haggard and disheveled, but to Ed, he might as well have been the most beautiful thing in the world. 

Ling smiled thinly, his expression one of exhaustion-tinged relief. “Long time no see.” Ed leaped up and hugged him like he would be washed away in a storm if he let go.

“I was so worried,” he said into his shoulder.

“The others are right behind me, I was sent to scout. I'm never letting go. Not again”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Technically I updated on the right day, so it totally doesn't matter there's only a hour left til midnight.


	6. the b3st fic to evar exist!!1!!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is joke prompt. Please don't take it seriously.

1 day ed was all like lets time travel because that totally wont fail because impossible things can always be done with alchemy.” he verbalized intelege tly 

And ling was like “Yes this is a lovely plan what could go wring” he spoke wordingly. So then thay used this super complicayed ray to do ALCHENY and go back to save maes (i dont remeber his last name but LOLWHATEVS)

  1. So they used the ray to gk back and kill envy b4 he could kill maex 



“what r u doing here” envy exclaymed dramaticly 

“DIE” ling yelled angerly and smakcked envy with his badas sord of awskme (ling had a sord rite? whatevs sords r cool)

Then evny screamed leik a little girl and dyed.

“yay we did it ling” Ed cheered happyly “hes aliv”

Then ling and ed started makjng out and it was suoer hawt

THE END

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've hit a rough patch with a few of the AU prompts down the line. This is to a vote. Should I just write joke fics for the prompts I'm having trouble with, post fanart, or take reader suggestions on new prompts (and if I do that, what AUs should I use)?


	7. Fate's Resignation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A quick warning for character death!

Ed shoved the last of the furniture against the door and sat down in the middle of the room, his legs pulled up to his chest.

“We're definitely out of bullets? No other weapons?” he murmured. 

“Double and triple checked,” Ling said. He took a seat next to Ed and wrapped his arms around his shoulders. 

Ed laughed humorlessly. “So this is it? We die cowering in an unstable safehouse?” He presses his forehead to his knees.  “I'm sorry. I failed you.”

Ling doesn't know what to say to that, so he just holds him tighter, if only to comfort himself from their pending demise.

They make a valiant attempt at defending themselves when the horde of zombies finally breaks through their fortifications ten minutes later. The two of them died defending the other from certain death. Their mangled corpses, when later found by scavengers, are unrecognizable. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The past note still stands! Would you like to see joke fics, fanart, or new prompts? If so, do you have any AUs in mind?  
> Either way, thanks for reading!


	8. Lima-Oscar-Victor-Echo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Incompentent Secret Agents be like

Ed stared at the building complex before him. Patience was not his strong suit, but he had his moments. This clearly wasn't one of them. Just when he felt like tearing his hair out from sheer anticipation, his com crackled to life. “Viper, this Storm. Come in Viper, over.” Storm. That was Ling.

“This is Viper. I read you Storm. Over.” 

“Change of plans. Backup is a no-show, so I'm going to need your assistance. Over.”

“Why? What is the major malfunction, over.”

“Our backup is Lima-Lima-Mike-Foxtrot. Over.” Ed grimaced. There was a reason you didn't give high-stakes missions to the rookies, and this was it.

“Message received, over and out.”

 

. . . . . . .

 

“How does anyone not realize they got shot!?” Ling asked, wrapping layers of gauze around Ed’s arm. “You need to be more careful.”

Ed glowered at him. “A, I blame the adrenaline. B, that's really rich coming from you, Mr. When-In-Doubt-Taunt-The-Guards.” Ling groaned.

“If you weren't so hot I would slap you every time you decide to bring that up.” 

“Lucky me then,” Ed said with a smirk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I forgot this existed lol oops so this is getting updated six months later. I'll post the next and final prompts tomorrow.
> 
> Chapter title is 'love' spelled using the NATO alphabet and Lima Lima Mike Foxtrot is shorthand for 'Lost like a motherfucker.'


	9. Fire Forged, Water Forged

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I love Mer AUs so much. They don't get nearly the respect they deserve. Even though this chapter was written a long time ago, I still like it.

If Al were there, he would've been saying (admittedly reasonable) things about how “Mers shouldn't go too close to shore,” or “The number one rule is don't be seen by humans!” Ed would protect him with his life even if he didn't listen to half the advice he gave. And, of course, by ignoring said advice, was how he was caught by a human. 

He had been swimming in the coral reef, simply enjoying the view and picking up a few pieces of fallen coral to sell back in town when he felt a sharp prick in his shoulder blade. Ed craned his neck to see what caused it, but his senses were already dulling and his movements slowing. His vision faded to black before he knew what happened. 

When Ed came to, the water around him felt much cooler and… something else, but he didn't have a good word for it. ‘Fake’ was the closest he got. It took longer for his eyes to adjust to the sheer brightness of the room. It was like swimming at the surface of the ocean, but far worse. He eventually got used to it enough he was able to see a dark-haired human sitting in a chair reading just outside the tank he was in. It took him longer to realize he was in a tank and  _ oh shit this isn't good _ . 

The human heard him moving around and glanced up at him. “Hey, you're awake! My name's Ling. You are?” The human-  _ Ling _ , Ed mentally corrected, turned his chair to face the tank.

“Ed,” he said. God, his throat hurt. His words came out choked and unconfident, enough to make Ling wince.

“Yeesh, that tranq’s side effects are not treating you well. Sorry about all this, by the way. Not my idea at all.” He glared at nothing in particular.

Eventually, the two of them formed a kind of tentative friendship. Ling was technically supposed to gather data about Ed and give it to his father, the ringleader of a freak show, who was originally just going to try and catch a dolphin and call it a mermaid with a bit of sleazy taxidermy. Ling refused to cooperate with him, point blank. The fallout was not pretty. 

Ed learned a lot about human culture. At first, he was horrified with the adult's treatment of their young, but Ling said many times over his wasn't a typical case.

Mei was enamored with Ed at first but quickly grew to dislike him. She called him a jerk and refused to talk to him anymore.

Unfortunately, as time passed, it became increasingly clear that Ling’s father didn't have any of their best interests in mind in the slightest. Ed’s condition continued deteriorating due to the low quality of the water, to the point of certain days he wouldn't even be completely lucid. Ling was unable to provide results because of this, even if he would have otherwise. It scared Ed the most when Ling wouldn't even visit him.

“Your human light-screen things can contact other humans, right?” Ed asked, his voice scarcely above a whisper. “You've said this isn't normal, so ask another human for help.” Ling shook his head.

“Who would I go to? If I just up it and leave, It'll put Mei in danger, and probably you as well. Plus, who would even believe me about any of this?” He gestured vaguely at everything. “Yeah, I have a mythical creature in my basement and my dad hurts me because I refuse to let him exploit a mermaid. Do I sound sane to you?” Ed chewed on his knuckles. Ling kinda had a point there, even if he didn't like it.

“What if I'm out of the equation? Make your dad look crazy instead of you.” Ling opened his mouth to shoot back a retort but closed it after a moment’s thought. He pulled out his light screen and tapped it multiple times. He paused, and then began tapping again.

“I just texted Lan Fan. She's bringing the biggest cooler she owns.”

As it turns out, ‘coolers’ are incredibly uncomfortable to travel in. Zero out of ten, would not recommend under most circumstances. 

Lan Fan drove the ‘truck” she borrowed from her parents, Ling rode ‘shotgun’, and the cooler sat on the floor in the back with the seats collapsed down.

“Ling mentioned meeting an Ed,” she said out of the blue, “but I sure as hell wasn't expecting a mermaid.” 

“Yeah, well, I live to disappoint.” Ed crossed his arms.

“You take yourself too seriously. If you're getting that from  _ me _ , there's a problem,” Lan Fan said with a snort. He didn't say anything in response.

One awkward silence later, they drove onto the beach. Lan Fan and Ling hefted the cooler onto the sand and dragged it towards the water.

“Can I have a moment?” Ling asked. Lan Fan nodded and walked back to the truck. “Thanks. For everything.” Ed shrugged.

“I didn't do much except get kidnapped.” Ling flinched at his choice of wording. Ed poked him in the chest. “And you better tell her about what's been happening, got it?”

“Before you go I have to ask…” Ling’s words trail off at the end before returning with a renewed vigor, “Will I ever see you again?” Ed grinned.

“Count on it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more to go!


End file.
